Just Want to Go Back

Sometimes, I just missed my old self.

Gue sangat ingin menjadi diri gue yang dulu. I'm a lil bit weird, lil bit crazy. But I guess that's fine. Because people still want to be friends with me. But now, people expecting the perfect, normal girl. Gue tahu gue harusnya stand out dari yang lain, tapi gue malah berusaha untuk fit in the society.

Everyday, I always think and think about this thing. If I reveal my true self, would everyone accept it? Or would they ignore me? Because I think everytime I show someone how weird and crazy I am, they started to stay away from me. And that' s when I lose my confidence. My self esteem going downhill from the highest point. So did my crush, because I act weird and awkward to someone I love, like Capt. Did he ran away because he found out that I wasn't like the other girls?

Semenjak masuk kuliah, gue mencoba jadi wanita yang kalem, elegan, dan gak banyak tingkah. And that's actual torture. I'm afraid no one likes me if I show my true self. Exposing my weird personality.

But at some point I do realized. It's not me who had to change myself. It's them who have to accept me the way I am. And if my crush didn't like me back or even disgusted by me. Then, that's fine. I guess I should find someone who is as weird and crazy as I am. Because I can't be the perfect girl with a perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body, and perfect personality at the same time. Cause I'm not a goddess, I'm a human. I have flaws, I should have not hid or covered my flaws. It's okay to have flaws. And it's okay to be a lil weird because being normal is too ordinary right now.

Maybe this time, I should let go of everyone who can't accept me the way I am. I just want people who really can accept me no matter how strange I am. Because it feels sick to act like completely different person just to fit in a society. I'm tired.